Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
