My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
