you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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