Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize