:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
