Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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