she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize