we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it's great music for shaving your balls
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
