kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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