and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
