do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
