escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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