what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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