so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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