i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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