I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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