I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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