how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
