Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
