There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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