My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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