I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
a search helicopter?!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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