i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
