my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
