don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
