I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
