Pants 0. Shit 1.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
