My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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