Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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