garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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