I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
