when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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