I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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