I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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