i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
