I think I died a long time ago.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
