It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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