Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
