she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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