My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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