i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
