Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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