It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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