Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
