Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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