dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize