Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
