That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
