I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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