Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
