I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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