We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
love makes seman taste better
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
