Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
