did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
