shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
