remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
