just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
