I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
