I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
