so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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