apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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