I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's shark week go big or go home
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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