the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
